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Helping Your Loved One Build Confidence Before a First Date

Picture of Katherine Gyolai By  Katherine Gyolai  ·  2 minute read

Supporting your loved one with an intellectual disability as they prepare for a first date can be both exciting and nerve-wracking—for them, and for you as their guardian. One of the best ways to help them feel confident and excited is by encouraging them to focus on what makes them uniquely wonderful.

Encouraging self-confidence is key, and a simple but powerful activity can make all the difference: creating a list of great things about themselves.

Step 1: Making the List

Before their date or meeting a new friend, set aside time to talk with your loved one about all the things they like about themselves. This activity encourages them to focus on their strengths and qualities that make them special.

Here are a few conversation starters:

  • Tell me about your favorite physical traits: Maybe they love the color of their eyes, their sense of style, or their bright smile.
  • What do you like best about your personality? Are they kind, funny, or patient? Do they enjoy helping others or have a knack for telling great stories?
  • Name your skills and talents: Perhaps they’re great at cooking, drawing, or solving puzzles.
You may consider writing down a list until the two of you have filled two pages with positive qualities. If they need a little extra help, you can pitch in by sharing the amazing things you see in them. If your loved one likes to color or decorate the page, even better! Then post the pages in a place where they can see it before their event.

Step 2: Using the List

Whenever they feel nervous or unsure about the date, encourage your loved one to read the list. Remind them that their unique traits make them someone worth getting to know—and that their date is lucky to spend time with them!

This exercise isn’t just about building confidence for the first date; it’s about helping your loved one develop a lifelong appreciation for who they are.

Video Resources to Build Confidence

Check out our video collection created especially for adults with intellectual disabilities. Topics include dating tips, building confidence, and navigating relationships. Encourage your loved one to watch these videos to gain practical advice and feel empowered as they embark on their dating journey.

Final Words of Encouragement

As a guardian, your support is invaluable. By helping your loved one reflect on their strengths and celebrate what makes them special, you’re setting them up for success—not just for their first date, but for all the relationships they’ll build in their life.

Dating can be a positive, enriching experience, and your loved one deserves to approach it with confidence and joy.

You got this—and so do they!